Story Time: Worst butt-whooping of your life? 

Growing up Hispanic is not a joke. Yes, there are many benefits to being Hispanic from the amazing food, to the partying, to the random chismes your abuela shared with you about people she assumed you knew but in reality didn’t. Parents tend to be extremely loving but also extremely strict, yup, best of both worlds.

As a child, I was no stranger to getting a good old-fashioned butt whooping. Let’s be honest, I wasn’t a model child, I was … Adventurous. If my parents said “Andrea, don’t”, Andrea did.

 I would say that it is fairly normal for a child to do the exact opposite of what parents tell them not to do. However, most children stay within the norms of childhood defiance with the usual:

  1. Talking too much in class
  2. Hitting a friend during a game
  3. Throwing your veggies under the table
  4. Not doing your homework
  5. Cutting class
  6. Saying bad words

I was all of the above and then some. I remember that one day I decided that I needed to “do my eyebrows” and since I wasn’t “old enough” to go to an actual nail salon, I decided to do it myself.That day, while taking a shower, I decided to use a razor to shape my eyebrows. . . Let’s just say I shaped my left eyebrow into inexsitance which was not even close to what I thought it would look like. I remember being in the shower and thinking, “oh shit, my grandma and aunt are going to whoop my ass so bad, they might even take turns and of course as anyone in their right mind, I started coming up with a story as to how my left eyebrow dissapeared from my face without a reason at all. 

I remember walking out of the bathroom and going straight to the bedroom. It was almost dinner time and I needed to think quick because once the food was ready everyone would be home. I decided to flip my hair to the side to cover the missing eyebrow…Needless to say, that was not a good idea. 

During dinner, my father said, “Andrea, take the hair out of your face, you look weird”. Of course that opened am invitation for everyone to comment on the situation until I finally had no choice but to reveal my masterpiece. I got yelled at by everyone that night and I got a royal ass whooping from my aunt that I still remember vividly until this day. 

I would love to say that I learned my lesson that day and never did anything stupid like that again but that would be lying. A few years later, I decided to give myself some bangs….you can fill in the blanks. 


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